Is it Happy Hour yet?

My husband came home from work the other day and was all "Hi everyone, I'm home." Then he looked at me. He instantly changed into the concerned face and seriously now said, "What is wrong? Your eyes are all glazed over."
Glazed over? Glazed over you say? That is the look of pure introverted hostility toward 2 small children who have nothing but NO, NO and oh yeah, NO to say to me for the last 3 days.
Boy Child has been in a mood of defiance for 3 days and I tell ya, I've had quite enough. I have done the time out, I've done the down to their level and discuss the problem, I've done the I'm going to spank you (to which he replies with a quite calculated half sneer half laughing at me remark of "spank me if you like"), I've even done the go to your room Super Nanny plans of action. Boy Child just doesn't seem to care.
They just continue the battling, then playing nice, then battling, then playing nice game all weekend long. Husband smiles and says nothing to me when I've rattled off all of the offenses the 2 darlings have committed for that day only.
As he and I try to carry on a conversation about HIS day, I can hear the arguing going on behind the Diva's closed door. I ignoring it until I (as only a mother can) can tell it just may come to murder. I then speak up and say Husband, please be quiet so we can hear if there is blood about to be shed upstairs. He decides he will handle this one......yeah, good luck sucka.
Apparently, Boy Child decided he was going to brush his teeth but the ADHD kicked in and he just had to go into Diva's room (his mind registers each visit to her room as say a trip to Disney) and Diva proceeded with threatening to - ready for this? sure? okay here it comes - clean his ears out with the toothbrush he still had clutched in his hand.
I'm sorry, it truly has to be happy hour somewhere. OMG! Dear husband, fetch me a margarita I've had enough!!

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