So we are invited to an annual picnic at an old friend's house. Why we are invited again I'll never understand when last year I spent 5 hours chasing Boy Child around their acres of land and their antique museum they call a home. I never realized until last year how many times you can repeat yourself - stop that, don't touch, get down, come here, stop, be gentle, don't hurt, etc.
Any whoo, Boy Child is all reved up to go to a picnic - because like all
insane sane parents of children with ADHD, we totally take him to as many places as we possibly can because we are so into self-inflicted exhaustion, embarrassment and torture. The picnic started out just fine he didn't enter the party like the usual pinball in a pinball machine manner. We made the dreaded mistake though (and as soon as I heard the words come out of Husband's mouth I wanted to grab them from the air and just ram the buggers back down his throat) of stating that hey I think he is much calmer this year. Right after that I was experiencing déjà vu. He had accidentally broken the wing from another child's airplane (my rule of thumb though is you don't bring toys that you don't expect to get broken, lost, left behind or used by other children to a picnic). He did a complete 360 on the hammock. He ran through the house saying touch, touch, touch, touch to everything. (Mind you this is a completely restored, built in 1890, farm house. Loaded with the original artifacts and then some. Not kid friendly by any means - I walk on my tip toes through it.) I thought I was safe when he spied the large sandbox - until he spied the hose which sat invitingly next to it already hooked up to the spigot. You guessed it...he just had to hose down the puppy that was there "so that the puppy could find out how much fun it is to get wet". That wasn't as bad as the fact that he also hosed down his father as Husband was trying to grab the hose from him. Me, I would have reached for the valve first to turn off the water but hey that's just me. At that point, Husband took Boy Child for a little ride in the car. You know the old once around the block so dad can have a smoke and calm himself down all the while letting the Boy think he is taking him home.
I bet you think that I've had enough excitement for one evening don't ya? Nope! Diva is not to be out done by her brother - no sir, no one will steal her center stage. Diva builds a volcano in the sandbox and then fills the sandbox with water to achieve an island effect. Now knowing there are 9 and 10 year old boys there and two 8 year old girls, I bet you can guess what the boys thought was funny to do to the girls. Yep, splash the sand and water all over the girls. I send girls into the kitchen to wipe themselves down and who comes running out but one of the girls yelling that the sink fell off the wall in the bathroom while Diva was in there. I just stood there for minute not quite registering what I just heard. Could it even be possible? Then I snapped back into the reality that yep, in my family it is possible. Sure enough, I stand there starring at the sink, broken pipe and skirting lying on the bathroom floor. My poor Diva was mortified and crying. She said all she was doing was looking in the mirror at her hair and then the sink fell. Yeah, okay. I wanted to crawl right into the cooler of Rolling Rock and stay there 'til dark I tell ya. She also broke a hammock, got hit in the face with a softball and then almost pulled the entire sound system and movie/DVD system off the wooden tier that it was sitting on during the evening movie (yeah, another cool feature at this picnic is that they have hung a gigantic movie screen onto the side of their house so that we can all watch movies in the summer). Last year the honor of stopping the movie went to Boy Child as he wanted to climb the wooden tier the equipment sits on.