Enough to Freeze Me in My Tracks

In the spirit of back-to-school and Autumn's arrival I've decided to enter into the Lysol's Fight the Flu Kit Giveaway where we are supposed to discuss or show via photo the most gross, yucky moment of our kids.

My kids have gone through the gamut of grossness such as:

  • eating out of the dog's dishes
  • sharing our lollipops with the dog
  • eating dirt and/or grass and sand
  • eating anything that has been lying on the floor or under the couch cushions
  • eating boogers
  • eating food (at least I hoped it was) found in/on the car seat
  • touching everything in public restrooms (and yes I mean even pulling stuff out of those "mini garbage cans" in the stalls)
  • pulling stuff out of the garbage cans
  • touching the toilet plunger
  • playing in the toilet
  • pooping diarrhea in the tub
  • puking in my husband's mouth when he picked them up to play with them as babies
  • oh my, the hot dog and chocolate milk pukes in the middle of the night

But - THE worst and grossest thing my kid has done was this.

We were playing at the McDonald's playland that PapPap was nice enough to treat me and the kids to one afternoon. It was a rather defiant day for Boy Child to say the least. After letting them run amok in the tube structure it was time to leave. Diva came nicely to the table and put on her shoes but as you can guess Boy Child played the NO game with me. Well, I went through all the proper parenting techniques (because we were in public of course) and then it happened. The most disgusting and germ-ridden thing my kid could have ever done.

He pressed his face up to the see-thru bubble of the playland tube and stuck his tongue out and proceeded to lick the bubble while making the na-na-na noise at me.

I froze in my tracks and I tell you I think I vomited a little in my mouth at that sight. I felt myself start to tremble and my mind raced with thoughts of Bubonic Plague and Typhoid Fever. I couldn't think of anyway to sterilize his mouth, throat and everything else inside of him. I yelled don't swallow, don't swallow but I knew full well that WTH was that going to solve -- it was way too late for any remedy.

I can tell you that when he got a good look at my face he didn't hesitate to come out of that tube and run to the table and put on his shoes. I can only imagine what expression it had on it.

I will never forget that and don't think my kids will either by my reaction to that incident. Oh and like clockwork, he did come down with a terrible cold about 10 days later.

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