Change and Hope

Let's face it there has been an awful lot of talk lately about change and hope. The media and the president-elect has rammed those words down our throats for the last 18 or so months as their political ploy. Likewise, if I hear the words maverick and hockey mom anymore I think my ears will pop off my head and flush themselves down the toilet.

Unfortunately, in our house though there must be change and I hope that it will be for the best in the long run.

Boy Child is still struggling with his behavior and meltdowns at pre-k. We are not pleased with the whole wrap-around system that is in place. If one more person mentions drugs for my son, I might just have to start a fight. The insurance company is not pleased with his progress and has been cutting his service hours for the last 2 approval processes, so I'm not sure how much time I have for TSS anyway. Without a TSS to be with Boy Child the pre-K will not keep him. We have been looking into schools that are specific to children with his type of needs but the several we have taken a tour of are (to be kind) just not what we had hoped for. The problem is that he is in pre-k and not yet kindergarten. There is a school only a few miles from us that we are told is wonderful which we are planning to tour but this wouldn't take effect until school starts next fall for kindergarten. At least though that is a hopeful change. What to do with him now until fall is the issue. Do I quit work after 11 years there and lose my seniority and vestment in 401K and health insurance to stay home with our son for the next 9 months? Does my husband not work at rebuilding his business for the next 9 months and stay home with our son? (Hmm, he'd be doing the cooking and cleaning too. Might have to seriously think on this one.)

Let us also not forget that either of these options will directly impact our housing situation. Being in foreclosure and the not knowing of whether yet another application through Action Housing will be denied is a stressful situation. Don't believe the media that there is help for the homeowners to keep their homes. We have been trying to avoid foreclosure now for the last 18 months. That means we may or may not be moving in the next 4-6 months. To where we have no idea. (Hmm, wonder what affect that will have on Boy Child and Diva.) This is one change that is bittersweet. I think we are secretly hoping to move, just not last minute. We really like our home but the neighborhood and school district leave a lot to be desired. The neighbors are the best people - very kind, but over the last year we have had our cars broken into twice (once my pistol was stolen and the other a GPS system), the neighbor's truck was stolen, there was a home invasion and the theif took their car ~ this was just on our street. Prior to that there was a period of time where homes were being broken into, but they did end up finding those bandits. There are a lot of houses for sale in our plan.

To say that the Boy Child issues, the bankruptcy, the foreclosure, and all the health problems my husband and I have been facing this past year have taken its toll on our relationship with each other and our family would be an understatement. We really need to change this too. We have been too consumed with ways to bring in more money that we are forgetting to enjoy each others company and make time to have some fun. The last family vacation we were on was when Boy Child was 7 months old.

My husband and I will never give up. Our answers will become clear. We will turn this around and make our family's change for the better with a clean slate.

I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. ~ The BibleMatthew 17:20

Courage is being scared to death — and saddling up anyway. ~ John Wayne

The courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle than the courage of a final moment, but it is no less than a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy. People do what they must — in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures — and that is the basis of all human morality. ~ John F. Kennedy


Full time mom, part-time nurse said...

Hang in there. You & I have so many things in common.

Morgan said...

I was reading your blog and had some comments/questions for you about your experience.

Email me. Thanks. jindmo AT