So here's the thing. You know how when you're little and you act out things while you are playing - you know the stuff that you'd like to do when you grow up (marriage, kids, jobs, fun stuff, etc.)? You know how when you get to high school and you think about your future but more like it's a movie and not so real because OMG senior pictures, prom or whatever is coming up? Then when you graduate and you (if you are wise) go to college you sorta kinda forget about the future and just have a whole heck of fun? Then the future is smacking you in the face and telling you to wake the eff up your late and it would really like you to catch up? No, you don't recall any of those things? Hmm, well then you may be excused.
For the rest of you....
I've been doing some thinking this week - you know about those plans I thought up and rewrote and thought up some more in those years. My plans that I used to dream up way back when are nothing like my life - and I wouldn't have it any other way.
This week has been one huge suckfest, so when the suckfest arrives I start doing some thinking on how to turn it around. I've written them down, then scratched them out and then written them down and then scratched them out - and, well, you get the picture. It is a bit of the old saying of careful what you wish for scenario. Or if you are locked in a time warp with your 6 and 10 year old kids it is like the Genie's wishes on Fairly Odd Parents. The wish IS what you wished for but there is that oh so clever twist to it.
When you are blessed with an answered prayer but then you have the sinking feeling that you are about to let it slip through your fingers because life and lack of time to focus is getting in the way of you actually pulling it all together and having the success you have always dreamed about and you could at any moment watch it smash into a million pieces right at your feet - you start doing some thinking.
But then you also are faced with some other family issues that are prayers left unanswered on a total opposite end of the spectrum and in your mind you are running from one end of your thoughts to the other end of your thoughts and you are huffing and puffing and tripping. You have meetings and telephone conferences and then - you start doing some thinking.
Somewhere in the middle you have two little faces trying to grasp your attention to engage you with their life, and you stop and smile and breathe and smile some more. No thinking, just smiling. It's a breath of fresh air.
Then it's like the wind slams the door shut and the sound of that loud bang brings you back - and the smile fades - you start doing some thinking.
That's where I've been. It isn't pretty. It isn't fun. It is exhausting - mentally. What it is, is life. And no matter what I'm faced with I know that life is good. I don't need to think about that. It is a no brainer. I don't have the answers - at least not yet. It is what it is and I will see it through. I also know that there are so many others that are facing much more stress than I am like a child's death, or special needs (x3).
So at the end of the day (or sometimes at the very early beginning of it) I like to read others blogs. Some blogs make me laugh out loud and some inspire me. There are those that make me think and some that feed my soul. Sometimes if you are lucky you might find some local blogs that make you feel like neighbors. Whatever you are searching for, for whatever reasons go for it. Enjoy yourself - take a breath.
This weekend I'm going to head over here to read some new blogs and maybe win some free stuff. If you find yourself with nothing to do, then join me, you might make a new friend. Otherwise, you might start doing some thinking.
UPDATE: I've just looked at all the prizes (well not all because there are way too many) and here are some of what I'm looking to win:
The Grand Prize: Toshiba Satellite L505D-ES5025 Toshiba Satellite L505D-ES5025**
US40- One winner will receive a 3 day 2 night stay from Holiday Inn Main Gate East in Kissimmee, FL (less than 2 miles from Disney World) a value of $250.
US39 -Be My Guest certificate ($250 value) for one lucky winner, (2 night stay for a family of four) at any Hilton Garden Inn.
USC 3 – A $50.00 Target Gift Card.
USC 15 – $50 Target gift card to one winner.
USC 8 – $55 E-Gift Card for Amazon.com Gift code will be emailed to the winner and can be used for purchases from Amazon.com.
US112 – $50 Amazon Gift card
Provided by: Robyn ~ Our Homeschool Home
USC 10 – One winner will receive a beautiful handmade glass pendant with their choice of chain. The piece is made by me with care using glass and paper. The design I will give away is called "Lilac".
Provided by: The Glass Polkadot Co.
US6 – Hand Stamped Personalized Necklace valued at $48 The Double Stacked A Lot Of Love.
US7 – Tupperware Prize Pack – the winner will receive a box filled with fun Tupperware goodies.
US8 – Buds to Bloom Photo Tile Necklace ($95) – Features custom photo tile, hand stamped mom charm & bead cluster. The Ultimate Mommy Necklace!
You get the picture - I'm a sucker for Gift Cards to Build A Bear, Target, Wal-Mart, and Amazon.