When your kids are babies and you are a new parent there is a lot of emotion and stress on what is the right thing to do for your child. You search on google for feedback and advice, you stalk mom blogs daily to get a glimpse that you are not alone in this, and you get more than enough advice from family and friends. Breastfeeding no breastfeeding, which daycare, which bottles, diapers, laundry soap, shampoo, baby soap, etc. to use. It really boggles you but then miraculously it all just seems to click. Your family routine is formed and everything seems to fall into place with less stressing about it all.
But then the babies start to grow and you get to start the stressing all over again. Like when to introduce cereal, then which cereal, or the introduction to the yellow and orange foods, then the green foods, then the fruits and then the OMG is that an allergy to a food or is it just a strange daycare fungus that is being spread around. Whew. . . I admire those folks out there than make the statement that they are never having children. These folks realize what it entails and they understand their mental and physical limitations to handle the stress and commitment involved with raising children. I've always wanted to be a mom.
Diva has been really having a rough school year this year. She was so excited to get back to school because she is a social person and thrives on the stimulation and interaction with people. Before school started she finds out that her best friend is switching schools in order to be there for her little sister's first year of school. Our school cut one homeroom out completely so that they can make room for a special education classroom so that meant that 1/2 of the first grade was uprooted to another elementary school. Big bummer for my Diva. Not so much a bummer for us because this best friend of hers is somewhat of a high maintenance person and was not well perceived in school which then trickled down to Diva because she was friends with her. I was actually kind of glad so that Diva was then free to roam with the other kids now. Unfortunately, 11 and 12 year old kids can be mean. Instead of being met with excitement of the new school year she was met with trash talk, bullying, cyber-bullying and just not a lot of happy.
She does have her few staple friends that she had from last year but it seems the rest were not very receptive. There was one girl who would text Diva every other day saying she hated her and didn't want to be friends but then when they were in school she would come to Diva and talk, goof around and be all friendly. WTH?? Diva finally had enough and just came out and confronted the girl and told her to pick a side - either they are friends or they are not but enough was enough - they are friends. Then there was the boy who was Diva's friend all last year but because he is now "dating" (who dates in 6th grade anyway??) a girl that hasn't really been very nice to Diva, he now hates her too. I use the word hate here because that is the actual words these kids use. Oh and we have the best of all a young lady who just tormented my daughter on the school bus. The latest stunt was telling my Diva that everybody hated her and that she was ugly and then proceeded to ask every single kid on the bus if they hated her and thought she was ugly and then presented Diva with the numbers of the kids who did. Great, just great. This girl has now had to move to another state to live with her dad and step-mom. Hmm, guessing there were problems across the board with her not just between her and Diva then.
I know that we all go through troubles growing up, I've had my share of it too. When your a parent though, it is much much harder to watch this all unfold for your child and see them struggle with the social politics and morality. All those memories of whatever happened in your own childhood flood back and you want to just put a cushy bubble around your kid and not let any of the negativity of the world get through. As a parent though, you also know that how they deal with these issues as children is what will make them a better adult. As well as how you the parent help your child through will determine how your communication with them will be as they continue to grow. It is tough.
Diva is a smart girl who enjoys laughing but she wears her heart on her sleeve. She gets good grades - last report card had two A's and four B's. Two of these B's were near misses for an A. So when we splurge on things like the Justin Bieber concert tickets for the Dec 13th show, I don't feel bad about that. She deserves it. I have even spent the last month trying to contact any and all entities that I thought might be able to help me gain access to Justin Bieber in order for her to maybe get a meet and greet at the concert. I've even been trying to get just an autographed photo of him. Seriously, I've written to AEG, XBox 360, Consol Energy Center, JB's agent, local radio stations you name it. I've given up on that now, I realize I've done all I can but man what I wouldn't give to see that look on her face if she were ever to have met him in person. LOL.
I'm gonna try to be a good listener and offer my advice and not be so critical of her. I refuse to allow her to give up though and not push herself and not have standards and morals to meet. A lot of kids today do not value hard work and therefore do not value what life offers or what they are given. I want my kids to appreciate and respect all that they can achieve in this world and to never settle just for the sake of being afraid to try. Life is too short and everyone deserves to live it happily. I've told her that no one is perfect, you don't always get what you want and not everyone is going to like you BUT that is okay and normal so you need to be proud of and enjoy who YOU are always.
And I'm gonna pray I make it through the teen and college years because these tween years are doing a job on me. The boyfriends and driving years may require my need to stock up on bucket-o-margaritas and just hum Kenny Chesney or Jimmy Buffet my way through!