Where did THE year go?

This was supposed to be THE year.  THE year for husband not working weekends - well, at least Sundays.  THE year to actually enjoy summer and do more things together as a family - you know like Pirate games, Sportsworks, Science Center, Kennywood, Splash Lagoon those things.  THE year that I lost 50lbs.  THE year that Boy Child lost 20lbs. THE year husband had his total knee operation and carpal tunnel.  Most importantly, THE year that Boy Child transitioned into public school.

Sometimes the best laid plans do not always work out.  Husband worked more this year than any other year.  I think I was in the pool with my kids once this summer. I have 3 unused Kennywood tickets still hanging on my bulletin board.  I have never been to PNC park (or Heinz Field for that matter) or the Science Center or Sportsworks and the new wave pool has opened at Splash Lagoon and we haven't christened it yet! Poor husband got terribly ill earlier this year and this put off his surgeries. 

What is the hardest to bear is watching my poor Boy Child suffer.  He is the sweetest, funniest, smartest little boy ever. When he isn't being intrusive on your personal space he is so enjoyable.  Unfortunately, he suffers daily in a catch 22 situation with school.  He goes to a school for children with emotional/behavioral difficulties and last year he was doing so fabulous that we were talking about having him transition into the public school this year by Christmas.  Now, we have come to a huge set back and are essentially starting over.  He has all new support staff this year.  He has new kids in his class this year. It is the beginning of the year for everyone new to adjust to this new setting and therefore there is alot of negative behavior going on in the classroom.  Imagine being a 7 year old boy who struggles with his own emotional misgivings and being surrounded by chaos, fighting, taunting, restraining during class time.  Is my child without fault? No not always.  Sometimes though he is just mixed up in the situation of the classroom and then ends up either with yet another set of broken glasses (yeah last year 5 replacement pairs) because someone snatches them from his face as they are being escourted from the classroom or he gets himself all upset to the point that he cannot calm himself down.  He just wants to be around kids who are not so explosive on a minute to minute basis.  We expose him to "normal" kid activities - bowling league, Boy Scouts, Tang Soo Do.  He does really well most of the time.  I'm starting to wonder if I'm not doing more damage than good by keeping him in this school.  I cannot move him to public school now though as they have to approve it and they are the ones that approved him to go to the school he is at now.  My alternative is to homeschool/cyber school him.  Yes that will be great for his IQ level but defeats the purpose of his socialization skills. 

What do you do? He knows he has to do well behaviorially at school in order to get out of there but he says it is so hard to ignore all the chaos.  He is my hero - I'm not sure how I would be in his situation.

He longs to have sleepovers, play dates, friends to talk to on the phone, friends to play the Wii with or ride bikes with or to go trick-or-treating with.  He hasn't experience any of those things yet.  Too sad. 

I just don't know what else we can do. We will have to put our heads together and figure out what we're missing/overlooking. He is counting on us.

1 comment:

autism(and othe stuff) said...

I totally understand where you are coming from in regards to special school vs. mainstream school. We have an 11 year-old on the spectrum who also attends a center for children with autism. He attended a different one last year and he had all of the issues that your post talks about; other kiddos hitting, pinching, throwing, etc. and he didn't have much opportunity to do those awesome kid things that you mentioned (sleep overs, birthday parties, etc.). Even though we LOVE his new school- we still have one foot out the door looking for a possible mainstream placement...this is something that just continues to wear on me. Thanks for your post, by the way, I enjoyed reading it!